


The Tapes

by 13BlueBananas (orphan_account)



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dipper's video camera, Ford finds out Dipper was possessed, Ford reacting to the shorts, Ford-centric, Gen, Mentions of Bill Ciper, Post Episode: s02e12 A Tale of Two Stans, That little clip Stanley filmed during Sock Opera, The Stan Wrong Song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 16:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4753715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/13BlueBananas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper loans Ford his video camera, forgetting to clear the memory card beforehand. (Or: Ford watches and reacts to the shorts that aired between seasons, the Stan Wrong Song, and the clip that Stan filmed during Sock Opera.) Post-A Tale of Two Stans, pre-Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. SPOILERS! Disclaimers inside. Ford-centric.</p><p>ANYTHING IN ITALICIZED BOLD IS TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE SHOW!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Watching Videos with a Monster

**The Tapes by 13BlueBananas**

Chapter One: Watching Videos with a Monster

_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravity Falls or any of its characters, script, etc., and only edited the cover image. All rights to respective owners._

* * *

Ford wasn't mad at Dipper for not clearing the memory card of the video camera before giving it to him. Annoyed? Yes. What could the kid have filmed to fill up the card, anyway? A good portion of the oddities in Gravity Falls were elusive enough to avoid a 12-year-old, or rare enough that it was more likely than not that Dipper hadn't found one. And seeing as those were his main interests (from what he could tell, at least. When he went upstairs he was constantly peppered by Dipper's endless questioning about the mysteries and such of Gravity Falls), Ford didn't know what else he would bother filming.

He glanced at the small, growling creature in a half-eaten cage on the table before him. Even if he _didn't_ want to know what content the video camera held -which he did- Ford still had to transfer the videos to make room for the documentaries _he_ was going to film. So, despite the fact that the little menace was almost free, the author of the journals decided to sate his curiosity and watch the tapes.

_Now, where did I put the USB cable?_

* * *

**" _Hello, I'm Dipper Pines. The girl trying to crush my head is Mabel._ "**

**" _I'm helping!_ "**

**" _Today on Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained..._ "**

Ford blinked and leaned back in his chair. So this 'episode' was focused on his brother's 'tattoo'. Ford was angry, but at whom, he didn't know. Stanley was _branded_ because of him. But Ford couldn't direct his anger towards his brother - not for that, at least. He glared at the image of Dipper on the screen for a moment, cursing the fact that his great nephew was meticulous enough to notice the marking, before he realized that it wasn't his great nephew's fault either. There was no reason to even _think_ about being mad at Mabel: She's been the glue holding the two generations of twins together since Ford's return. With a silent sigh, Ford resigned to the fact that the person he was mad at was himself. He didn't have anyone else to blame for his mistakes, no matter how much he wanted to, and his brother's burn was a permanent reminder of it.

He watched the rest of the video in silence, an occasional smile or frown playing at the corners of his mouth. He knew it was no tattoo on Stanley's shoulder - at least, it wasn't originally. Ford had to give his brother credit though: Ink would be much easier to explain than an oddly-shaped burn scar.

At least one good thing would come out of watching these*, he mused as the video neared its end, was that he got to learn more about the personalities of his great niece and nephew. Dipper reminded Ford so much of himself it was almost painful. So inquisitive and nosy. Although, he wasn't too sure he would risk walking in on a naked Stanley just to see a tattoo... Hopefully, there would be a few videos with Mabel saying more than a few words, though. From what he gather during his brief food runs, she was the more eccentric of the two. Her bold personality balanced out Dipper's perfectly, but there had to be more to her overall character than that. There had to more to both of them. Humans, after all, were complex creatures.

Ford wasn't sure how much information he could gather just by watching these videos, but there was no harm in trying. It would be easier to interact with them if he knew what they were like beforehand, anyway. And that 'Soos' guy as well...

The sound faded to static and the screen turned black.

Before moving on to the next one, Ford glanced back at the reason he had the camera in the first place. The red-eyed beast had been oddly silent for the duration of the video... It had eaten most of the cage by now, only the bottom of it was still intact, but all it did was stare at him before pointing towards the computer. Ford was stunned for a moment, then he grabbed the third Journal and flipped open to the nearest empty page. He quickly began a rough sketch of it, leaving the top blank for when he gave it the appropriate name when he knew more about it. The tiny creature became increasingly agitated, shrieking and frantically jabbing it's finger at the monitor. It couldn't have been clearer what the thing wanted, even if it was odd. Ford's eyebrows shot up and he hastily moved on to the next video.

* * *

The first thing he heard was a very obnoxious and obviously forced laughter. **_"And that's Mabel's Guide to Laughing for an Uncomfortable Amount of Time! Uh oh, here comes more! Aha ha ha ha ha!"_**

It cut to a very colorful intro with surprisingly good music and Mabel doing questionable things. When had she found the time to do all of that?

**_"Today: Mabel's Guide to Color! Ah, color! It's all around us, from the green of a nauseous twin brother, to the weird orange of an old man's nose, to the beautiful sky blue of toilet water."_ **

So Dipper was prone to carsickness. Ford stored that tidbit away for later. He opted to not think about how she had acquired the close-up of his brother's nose, or how she got the water to be so vibrant.

_**"...by a magic wizard named 'Crayon-dalf the Fabulous!' What's your favorite color, Gravity Falls?"** _

He observed the little devil out of the corner of his eye while random strangers stated their favorite color, trying to figure out what it was. He was still half-listening - someday the favorite color of random Gravity Falls residents might be useful - but most of his attention was devoted the thing sitting on the table. Why was it so fascinated with the videos? Maybe it too was gathering information... But for what? Too bad it couldn't talk.

**_"None."_ **

**_"What?"_ **

Ford didn't know why, but he felt as if his brother had just made a mistake in saying that.

**" _... don't even like colors."_**

**_"Not even RAINBOWS?!"_ **

**_"Beats me. I've never seen a rainbow."_ **

His suspicions were confirmed at Mabel's horrified face. He winced at the volume of her 'color emergency' announcement.

The next two scenes had him questioning Mabel's choice in friends (and wondering where the blonde one was) and feeling a sense of dread and cautious anticipation. Whatever was about to happen next, Ford was sure that it wouldn't end well for his brother. That didn't mean Stanley got his sympathy, though.

**_"OH NO! WHY?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!"_ **

**_"Surprise!"_ **

**_"MY EYES ARE ON FIRE! AAAAAAHH! AAAAAAAHH! AAAAAAHHH!"_ **

While his face portrayed no emotion, the Author's eyes were a different story: Barely-contained amusement. The creature had no such restraint, and nearly fell off the table, shaking in silent laughter at the old man's pain. Honestly, it was like watching a comedy with a five-year-old.

He wondered how long his twin had to keep the bandages on.

**_"I hate color more than ever!"_ **

**_"He's just saying that."_ **

Ford went back and watched it again, just for the fun of it.

* * *

Dipper was on the screen again, looking excited. He had a piece of paper in his hand, and a pen in the other, but what he would need those for in the middle of a forest, Ford did not know.

_"Welcome back to Dipper's-"_

_"Wait, I thought you said it was my turn!"_

_"Mabel, I said you can go after me. And how are you just now realizing that this is for my Guide to the Unexplained?"_

_"But we just filmed your stuff two days ago, Dippingsauce!"_

_"It's my video camera. We're gonna have to restart now, you know."_

_"Nope! You can find someone else to film your magic mailbox. Mabel's out!"_ All he could see on the screen was the ground as Mabel handed the camera to Dipper.

_"Mabel, really? Mabel! It won't take all day this time, I promise!"_

_"Nooooooooooooooooope!"_ Mabel's response faded as she walked farther away, presumably back towards the Shack.

 _"Get back here! Urg... She's_ _probably still mad that I- Wait this thing's still on."_

This clip was clearly a blooper. Judging from how Mabel had described the object of Dipper's interest, Ford guessed the twins had found the all-knowing mailbox. But what were they doing so far out into the forest? For all Stanley lectured Ford on keeping the kids safe, he sure didn't seem to be the best guardian. Dipper, at least, should know of all the dangerous things that lurked in the woods. He made a mental note to talk to (yell at) his brother about it. He glanced over at the 'Thing', as Ford had recently dubbed it, and it impatiently gestured, rather rudely, for him to continue. Resisting the urge to strangle it, he moved on.

* * *

_**"Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly #54: The Mailbox."** _

So his earlier hunch was correct. At least Dipper had the sense to find someone else to come with him, even if it was a giant man-child.

**_"My letter poses a salient question: 'Sup Dawg?'"_ **

Ford's eyebrows furrowed in thought. As simple as Soos seemed to be, the fact that he knew what the word 'salient' meant - a feat that many of the people in Gravity Falls would probably never accomplish - Ford suspected that he was actually smarter than he let on. He would need more data to form a solid conclusion, but Soos worked at the Mystery Shack, so there would be plenty of time to do so. The Thing gasped, ripping Ford out of his pondering.

**_"Did you see that?!"_ **

**_"Open it!"_ **

While the metal-eating beast was just as enraptured as the two on the screen, Ford was resisting the urge to laugh. Out of all of the supernatural things that occurred in this strange town, this was probably one of the more normal ones. It was amusing to see Dipper, who had most likely dealt with things far stranger than a 'magic mailbox', dance around it like it was a bomb. The look on their faces as they read the letter it sent back was priceless.

**_"What if this thing's all-knowing?"_ **

**_"We gotta test it."_ **

**_"Oh, dude, I know the perfect thing!"_ **

**_"What?"_ **

**_"Hold on, lemme write it down... Okay: What did I shave into my head this morning?"_ **

The Thing doubled over while making a choking sound. It took Ford a moment to realize it was laughter. Even though nobody else was there, he himself made sure to keep his expression neutral. It didn't last long, however, and Ford made a choking sound of his own when Soos showed that he had indeed shaved a baby duck holding a paddleball on the back of his head. How did he manage to do that with such precision?

**_"It really is all-knowing!"_ **

**_"Ask it more questions!"_ **

Ford listened to their inquires with amusement (or horror, in the case of Soos's dream woman). He wasn't quite sure what to make of Dipper's borderline-obsession with the author of the Journals, but it certainly made it weird since Ford was the said person.

**_"Nifty! A mailbox! I've been wanting to mail Mom this video of me shoving a hundred gummy worms up my nose!"_ **

Why would Mabel be shoving that many gummy worms up her nose? Ford exhaled and shook his head, chalking it up to Mabel being Mabel. Maybe it was her form of accidental revenge. Or maybe she just wanted to mail the video to her parents. Either way, it was a miracle none of them were too badly injured, being so close to the explosion. Honestly, have they no sense of self-preservation?!

He sent out a silent thanks to Dipper as the episode came to a close. As curious as Ford was when it came to weird things, seeing his great niece putting gummy worms in her nose was not one of them.


	2. Watching Videos with a Monster II

**The Tapes by 13BlueBananas**

Chapter Two: Watching Videos with a Monster II

_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravity Falls or any of its characters, script, etc., and only edited the cover image. All rights to respective owners._

* * *

_"Today on Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Mabel and I are going to look for Anomaly #91: The Leprecorn."  
_

_"Guess who picked this adventure out? Mabel did!"  
_

Dipper was playing cameraman, and he was pointing the camera towards Mabel, who was holding up the cardboard sign with the title on it and a beaming smile on her face. After finding out what they would be hunting, Ford was especially eager to see the outcome of this episode. He himself had only been able to catch a glimpse of one before it had disappeared into thin air: The information he wrote down in the Journal came from what little the friendlier creatures knew about them. Speaking of little, the Thing had started to gnaw on the table. It seemed that it ate everything it could get its hands on.

_"Yes, yes she did. According to the Journal, they only care about two things: Gold and four-leaf-clovers. Since we don't have any gold, we're going to bring clovers."_

_"I found a bunch of them in the front lawn!"_

_"It didn't say EXACTLY where they live, but it does state that, 'They tend to gather near objects that produce rainbows.' Mabel, lead the way!"_

_"With pleasure, O' brother of mine!"  
_

The scene switched from the backyard of the Mystery Shack to the edge of the lake. The camera was spun in a circle, but nothing was there except for the forest in the background and a couple people playing at the shore on the opposite side. The sun was close the middle of the sky, indicating it was somewhere around either noon or late morning. There was a rainbow shimmering in the vapor, but no leprecorns were in sight.

_"Okay, so we're at the falls... Do you see anything?"_

_"Nope! Should I bring out the clovers? Maybe they're just shy."_ Mabel pulled out a handful of clovers from a hidden pocket in her green sweater while Dipper walked towards a clump of large rocks near the woodline.

_"Oh yeah! Just put them on the ground or something."_

Mable did so by throwing them up into the air like confetti and making an explosive noise before walking over to join her brother in peering over the boulders. Mabel gasped, and took the camera from his hands, zooming in on a shadowy figure just before it dashed behind a tree. Both Ford's and the Thing's eyes widened, and they leaned forward in a creepy unison.

_"What was that?"_

_"We can't find out if we've been eaten by it! Hide!"_

So Dipper _did_ have some self-preservation in him. The fact did little to reassure Ford, despite the fact that they were still alive meant they had escaped whatever disasters they had gotten into. Normally, he wouldn't have grow so affectionate (not that he would ever admit it out loud) to anyone through a series of videos, but the twins on screen were practically copies of when he and Stanley were that young... It was making him nostalgic, to say the least.

_"Um, Dipper, I don't think-"_

_"I can't see anything with your body blocking my view. What is it?"_

The figure from earlier peered out from behind its tree, hesitantly coming out of the deeper parts of the shadows. It was humanoid, Ford noted. It moved gracefully, even though it was only walking. So it probably wasn't a zombie or gnomes... Vampire, maybe? The camera jerked violently, as if Dipper had yanked on Mabel's arm.

_"I don't know... Wait a minute: Is that who I think it is?"_

_"Who?!"_

_"Upír*?"  
_

From the name alone, he could tell that it definitely wasn't a threat, and it definitely was a vampire. Only one 'person' had a name like that in Gravity Falls, and that was one of the friendliest bloodsuckers Ford knew. Too bad Dipper didn't seem to know that.

_"Mabel, what's going on?!"_

The shadowy entity started in a booming voice, " _WHO DARES TO- Mabel?"  
_

_"Mabel? Mabel, where are you going? Who is that? Why does he know your name- Mabel!"_

Upír stopped, less than five meters away. Mabel came out from behind the rocks, handing Dipper the camera first - the expression on his face as she did so was priceless - and went to lean in front of them instead. Close enough that she could talk to him, but far away enough to run away if necessary.

_"It's been a while since-"_

_"Since you broke up with me. Yeah... Erm, how's it going?"_

Ford wondered what had made them break up in the first place. Did he try to suck her blood (those vampire-falls-in-love-with-a-mortal-and-they-live-happily-ever-after books are utter nonsense) or did Mabel's braces keep reflecting the light onto his skin?

_"Uh... Good. And yourself?"_

He grimaced at the sheer awkwardness practically radiating off of the two, ignoring the way the camera shook in sync with Dipper's hands.

_"Everything's awesome. Hey, do you, uh, know where any leprecorns are?"_

_"I think they hide out in their pocket dimensions until they sense a double rainbow? What are you-"_

Pocket dimensions and double rainbows, eh? Ford grabbed the pen and clipboard - originally meant for the creature he was supposed to be studying - and wrote that little tidbit down. What he didn't write down was his plan to get into one of said pocket dimensions. This dimension was home, but there was so much to discover...

_"Thanks! Gotta-go-now-bye!"  
_

_"Nice seeing you again?"_

_"Run, Dipper!"_

He tried to feed off of her. That was the most likely cause. It was a rather traumatizing experience. The same thing had happened to himself, back when he was documenting vampires. Ford had no doubt the Thing (which had finished eating the cage and was now working on the table) had been through the same thing: It curled into a ball and shuddered during all the time Upír had been on screen.

_"Mabel, who was that?"_

Dipper must have been understandably concerned about what Mabel had been up to.

_"Nobody important! He told me that the leprecorns have pocket dimensions and don't come out until they sense a double rainbow. What do we do now?"  
_

Mabel must have been understandably worried about her brother's reaction.

_"You could tell me who that was, for starters."  
_

Mabel took control of the camera again. Trees passed by at a slow pace, and Dipper was staring at her with an unreadable expression. Once again, Ford was reminded of him and Stanely - before everything went wrong.

_"I'll tell you later... Yeesh, why is the sun setting already?"_

_"It's getting kinda late. I don't think we'll have enough time to get back and still have enough sunlight to make a rainbow-"_

_"Double rainbow, bro."_

_"Darn it! How do you even make a double rainbow?"_

CRUNCH! SQREEEEEEECHHHH! Ford paused the video and glared at the source of the noise. The Thing stared back at him with a blank expression, before taking another bite of the metal rod. He promptly took it out of its mouth and threw it to the far side of the room. He hit play again, ignoring the slightly less loud chewing. Eating metal rods sounded painful.

_"And all our clovers are still back at the falls..."_

_"Should we just try again tomorrow?"_

Did that mean they were actually going to try to get footage of one of the most evasive beings in Gravity Falls _twice_?! Did these kids even realize what they were hoping to do?

_"OH! Do you think they'll like four-leaf-clover STICKERS? Would puffy or scratch-and-sniff be better? What about GOLDEN four-leaf-clovers?!"_

For was pretty sure neither of them would work, but he had to admire her optimism. Dipper certainly needed it. He looked like a kicked a puppy at the realization they would have to wait and try again. Despite that, he gave a little laugh and shook his head in amusement.

_"We can use them as our back-up plan."_

**_!BATTERY LOW!  
_ **

_"Oh, I wanna turn it off! PRES-!"_

And the video ended.

* * *

Ford would have moved on to the next one, had he not run out of scrap metal. Or scrap anything, really. And seeing as he wasn't about to feed the Thing his chair or the computer (which were pretty much the only things left at this point, save for a few prototypes of various technologies and any wooden objects that were strewn about the room), that meant he would have to go upstairs and scavenge around for junk.

"It won't be difficult," he muttered out loud, just to hear his own thoughts over the desperate screeching. Would it ever _stop eating_? It almost wasn't worth documenting this creature, dealing with all the trouble it was causing.

But Ford had come across worse things. Far worse things.

* * *

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter :D I added in the vampire part after reading a short comic I found on DeviantArt that I don't remember the name or creator of. Sorry it's not longer (or contains a canon short - what you just read was what I think would happen if the twins ever went looking for a leprecorn), but I wanted to get this out ASAP due to the demand I got on FanFiction. But I couldn't just leave you guys hangin' either! So... yeah. Hope you enjoyed, remember to leave some form of acknowledgement!
> 
> And thank you, to those who have :)


	3. A Brief Intermission

**The Tapes by 13BlueBananas**

Chapter Three: A Brief Intermission

_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravity Falls or any of its characters, script, etc., and only edited the cover image. All rights to respective owners._

* * *

He knew in his subconscious that the Thing would have eaten its way out of the restraints by now, but there was still a tiny part of him that could hope. With luck and a fan, the smell of the four trash bags of "food" he had collected would lure it back into he main room. By food, of course, he meant trash. Well, mostly trash. He had grabbed anything that looked useless, dusty, old, broken, or worthless, and there were plenty of things in the Mystery Shack that met one or more of those requirements. Especially in the gift shop.

Sure enough, there was no creature to be seen when he arrived. There was a very obvious trail leading to where ever it was currently at - presumably somewhere still in the basement - made up of bite and scratch marks on the walls. Did it _need_ to constantly eat EVERYTHING? Or was it just a habit? Maybe it's extremely excitable personality (for lack of a better word) took up all of its energy. It was pretty straightforward with what it wanted, at least. That was good. What wasn't good was the fact that his very comfy office chair was now just a small pile of stuffing on the floor. The computer itself looked untouched, but there were several punctures in the cord connecting it to the outlet and the screen was black. Ford sighed. He would have to repair the wiring AND grab more junk.

He would have to go back up.

* * *

There was a hissing sound as the vending machine came off the wall. It had originally been a bookshelf, but his brother had done some major remodeling to his beloved house. Ford was still mad about that, even though his rational side told him it had to have been done. A glance at the clock on the wall told him it was almost officially morning. He neatly dodged various objects displayed on the floor that he had no recollection of being there earlier. Stanley was probably conning as much money out of the poor, gullible tourists as he could before the summer ended.

And speaking of the devil...

"Ford?"

For some reason, he was carrying three medium-sized boxes. More ''souvenirs''?

"Stan."

"What are you doing?"

"I need..." Ford paused. There was no reason for his brother to be getting into his business. "I need a glass of water. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Dodge one question, distract with another. He had no idea how he would react to knowing there was currently a potentially dangerous monster roaming around below them.

"Sure you do." The Author gazed into one of the most unimpressed faces he had ever seen. "Now what are you _really_ doing in my shop at midnight?"

Eh. No point in trying to hide the truth now - the basics, anyway. "I need to gather as much junk as possible. How do you persuade people to buy this stuff? Also, would you happen to have a spare power cord?"

"Er... Wait, put that back! That's my profit!"

"I need this more than you do."

"For what? 'Cause I need it to keep this building."

"Well, _I_ need it to stop an all-consuming monster from _eating_ this building."

Ford kept a straight face and Stanley blinked. The latter groaned in defeat, rolled his eyes, and said, "Take whatever junk you can find laying around in the house. Leave the stuff in the gift shop alone." then started unpacking tacky T-shirts contained within aforementioned boxes.

There was his cue to leave.

* * *

Another two bags and a new cord later, Ford was back in the basement. The only thing that had changed from last time was the small, growling, silhouette huddled in corner three. He threw the trash bags over to it, missing its face by only a millimeter. It jumped out of the shadows in fright. Ford had to stifle a laugh: It must have gotten shocked when it bit into the cord because every strand of its hair was standing on end. The Thing glared at him, slowly taking a large bite out of an unidentifiable object. Then it pointed towards the computer.

"Yeah, yeah," Ford grumbled, carefully unplugging the damaged cord from the socket and inserting the new one. The computer hummed and the screen flickered back to life. "I'm not going to fetch you more food. Pace yourself."

In no time at all, the next video was playing and Ford was back to multitasking between watching it and observing what was turning out to be the embodiment of unintentional chaos itself.

**_"And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Fitness with Waddles, the Jog Hog. You want that sundae? You gotta jog for it, Jog Hog!"_ **

So... she was tricking it into running for food that it would never reach? Cruel, but effective!

**_"Today: Mabel's Guide to Dating! As we all know, I'm a dating expert."_ **

He couldn't _dis_ agree with that, but he had a strong hunch that her idea of 'expert' was not the same as everyone else's. His thoughts were solidified after seeing "Zack" cry out for her at the window. The Thing grabbed at the air in front of it, drooling all over the place. Maybe it had a craving for cardboard? Or maybe it thought the cut-out was a real person...

 **_"..._ ** **_And now for a simple 9000 question dating quiz."_ **

Out of the three of them, Soos seemed to have the best chance. It wasn't saying much, considering that Stan was... Stan and Dipper was twelve.

**_"While they're busy working, we give you, 'Animal Dating'!"_ **

Several things ran through his mind while watching the next few seconds of the video, blurring into one giant thought of silence. Those poor animals. And the puns. It was like reading a cheesy Valentine's day card. Mabel was the only one Ford had met who could pull those off and not be shunned, and he had met a lot of people during his inter-dimensional travels. Although, "people" was kind of a loose term...

**_Grunkle Stan, on a scale from one to five, you scored a three."_ **

**_"Yes! Yes!"_ **

Only Stanley would consider those options a victory. The Author shuddered at the mental image of his brother surrounded by lady plumbers.

**_"Dipper. Your score is... Eesh! You know, scores don't really matter."_ **

Judging from the little sample of his earlier answer, it wasn't out of the question to assume that Dipper scored a negative number. What actually made it sad was the expression on the kid's face. He really thought he had 'aced' it - as Dipper had put it earlier - hadn't he? At least Mabel had the good sense not to tell him the actual number.

**_"Soos, on a scale from one to five you scored.. a twelve?"_ **

**_"My grandma was right all along. I am the world's most perfect man!"_ **

Who calculated the answers? There was a scoring guide for a reason. Despite this annoyance, Ford mentally congratulated himself on correctly predicting the outcome. A very awkward clapping noise was heard from the left side of the room. It must've been the creature. He chastised himself for not keeping a closer eye on it. Curse these captivating clips!

**_"Love is all around us. And if it seems like you two aren't the right fit, force it!"_ **

THAT he could disagree with. The squirrels seemed to have the same mindset. Either that, or they were still mad at her for taking away their acorns. It was probably the latter. All of a sudden, the creature started jumping and screaming from its spot on the floor. A banana peel flew onto the screen, covering over half of the view. The flying food didn't stop, and pretty soon every surface of the room was covered in trash. Including Ford.

The behavior was both curious and aggravating.


	4. Watching Videos with a Monster III

**The Tapes by 13BlueBananas**

Chapter Four: Watching Videos with a Monster III  


_Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravity Falls or any of its characters, script, etc., and only edited the cover image. All rights to respective owners._

**_Bolded_ _italics_** signifies direct script from the show, which I did not write nor claim ownership to.

* * *

After removing most of the trash that had been flung around everywhere from the beast's fit (which left him with even more questions than answers) and giving said creature a close-up demonstration of what he could do with one of his many weapons, Ford began to play the next short...

And nearly fell out of his chair. The  _Hide-Behind_? The creature itself wasn't too dangerous, but it was impossible to see in person - much less capture on a video. And while Ford took a moment to admire the twins' spirit, he was more than confident that this video would be full of nothing. It wasn't that he didn't have confidence in their monster-hunting/finding skills (because it was pretty clear at this point that Dipper and Mabel were magnets for the supernatural), but even the Author himself had tried to obtain photographic evidence and failed.

_**"... these photos suggest that it might actually be real! Either way, I intend to find out!"** _

It was definitely real. The footprints, the sounds, the glimpses... they all point to its existence. Honestly, shouldn't those two know by now that he would never write anything but fact in his journals?

_**"The Hide-Behind? Oh, he's real alright."**_ It was good to see at least one person in this odd town had some common sense.  _ **"... made this sound... Mighty spooky."**_

Ford's eyes flashed with something close to amusement at the townspeople's behavior. Some things never changed. He stopped paying attention to the screen for a few moments, turning his gaze onto the somewhat-calmed monster currently eating the garbage it had decorated the room with minutes before. Something triggered it, and he needed to find out what like he needed air. He wouldn't be able to keep this thing captive forever, even if it was more or less staying in the basement by choice at the moment, and the videos were downloaded onto the computer.

_**"Don't believe every legend you hear, kid."** _

Seven words. Eight, if you wanted to be technical about it. Either way, they did nothing to improve Stanford's love for his brother. His train of thought was heading down old tracks worn down and rusted with something a split-hair shy of hatred when he noticed something on the screen. Something dark, skinny, and staring at the camera with glowing yellow eyes while hiding behind a tree.

This time, Ford actually did fall out of his chair.

* * *

If the Author had been a couple years younger and ignorant towards the supernatural world, he probably would have still been processing the fact that  _Dipper_ , a  _preteen_  boy, had been able to do what no one else had done before. But he wasn't a couple years younger or ignorant, so it only took him about thirty seconds to snap out of his disbelief and start paying attention to the screen.

**_"... run."_ **

**_"What? Why?"_ **

**_"... that camera out of here!"_ **

Earlier, Ford had heard something about a giant tooth. The items in the background made him think the twins were in some sort of bait/fishing shop. Were they going after the Island Head Beast?

_**"... brought Mabel for backup."** _

_**"And I brought Bear-O..."** _

At the sight of the old, worn-down puppet, the Thing latched onto Stanford's leg.

"Gah!" It wasn't a scream, but the noise that echoed throughout the barren room after he kicked it off with his other leg was. Instinctively, he reached towards one of the various weapons concealed on his person. The only noise was a quite whimpering and Mabel narrating her "Bear-O" in the background. A few moments passed. The whining stopped, and the source of it was now the source of extremely annoying -and loud- chewing. After a few seconds more, Ford declared it safe to lower his hand.

_**"... are we supposed to be looking for?"** _

_**"I don't know. Just look for bubbles in the water."** _

_**"Dipper, look!"** _

They were obviously alive at the present time, so whatever they were about to face wouldn't kill them. I didn't stop a flicker of... concern? annoyance? both? from making itself known. Worry at the fact that they were just kids dealing with the (admittedly cool) weirdness that was Gravity Falls, and annoyance that his brother wasn't there to supervise. Not even he ventured out into the unknown alone until he was over twenty.

**_"What was that? What's happening?!"_ **

**_"IT DOESN'T MATTER! ROW! ROW! ROW!"_ **

Ford had heard enough of the backwards language the Island Head (and many of the other beasts) spoke when it started chasing the twins to recognise it when he heard it. He quickly wrote down the sounds in the margins of the paper originally meant to be used as a rough documentation of the Thing. Thanks to his nearly perfect memory, he only had to replay the scene once. Sometimes that nearly perfect memory was a curse, though. Like how he would probably never forget "Bear-O's" parting pun before the static returned.

* * *

_**"Hey, guys, what are you, uh-"** _

_**"Grenda, hold him down!"** _

Was this a clip to one of Mabel's "Guide to Life" videos? If the scene playing out before him meant anything, the answer was yes. Grenda must be the girl with the red-ish hair... But why were they attacking his brother's employee?

_**"These pants are so tight... I can't move! ... If you're watching this, call for help!"** _

The girls certainly had interesting taste. The costume must have been from a movie or something because not even Mabel dressed that way. All Ford every saw her wear was sweaters.

**_"AHHHH! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! ... I'd be pretty mad at you girls, if I didn't look so fantastic!"_ **

The tiger they had turned Stanley into did look fantastic. It was surprisingly professional, despite the fact that preteens had made it.

**_"Sucess! Take it to the streets, girls!"_ **

The clip ended after that, confirming that it was, indeed, a clip. She probably used another device to film the rest of it, then mashed them together. Hopefully, he would find out who the other girl/girls that Mabel had been talking to if she uploaded the complete edit to Dipper's recorder, like she had the last two times. She couldn't have been addressing just "Grenda", and he highly doubted Dipper had been filming. There was a possibility he would find out within the next ten minutes, since the next video had her name in the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who bookmarked/gave kudos to/read this story :)


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